Insanely Absurd

Dear Citizens of Gotham City:

Hello friends, villains, and victims. This is your favorite capped-crusader, and no, this isn’t Superman. I’m Batman. With the Joker, and many of my other villains, in Gotham’s precinct or psyc-ward I’m finding myself with more time on my hands. And, being that the love life has been a little low, I’ve decided to try this thing called “blogging”. So, I ask that you all try to poke on in from time to time to check out the “bat-blog”. I’ll try my best to keep it up-to-date, well as long as Gotham’s finest keep these guys in their cells for more than a week. So anyway..

I write this blog to you in a time of despair. The economy is down, and is still plummeting. The price of a good set of baterangs is unheard of now-a-days. Due to the ever rising gas prices, I’ve had to leave the batmobile in the bat cave, as I am now jogging down felons to both save a little cash and lessen my carbon batprint upon the earth. Food prices have jumped so high now that Robin and I have been making good use of McGotham’s dollar menu. Which is another reason why the batmobile has been missing in action; ever try to go through a fast food line with that? I don’t even need to mention the duel back-burners.

As all celebrities do, I’m going to go ahead and mention my few tips to help the economy and our environment. And these tips could and should be used if you classify yourself as “evil” or “good”.

1. If you’re going to kill a group of people, try lining them up so that one shot can take care of them all. Think of the money you’ll save; based off the principle, “two birds with one stone.”
2. Running a chemical lab? Try storing those deadly mixtures in recyclable contains. My motto is “Why waste with nuclear waste?”
3. Tired or that air conditioning bill? You know what I’m talking about Mr. Freeze! Start opening your windows. This helps in another way as well; you won’t need to worry about the shattering glass of villains (or victims) flying either in or out.

Well, this is all I have for this week. Check back soon for more updates.

- Batman